I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
