Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
