Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
