dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My cat gives me a boner
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
