thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
