i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
