i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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