you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
