Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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