Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
