i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
