there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
