:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
