lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
tell me about the fingering
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
