I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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