you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
