I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
