I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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