The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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