No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
