apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
