Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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