please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
