I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
they call him Oral-B. enough said
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
