he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
