Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize