My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
