You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
