just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
