Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
