I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
