There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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