I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
