'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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