I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
