I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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