please come you make the beer taste better
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
