You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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