So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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