Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
