So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
