Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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