I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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