oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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