her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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