I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
