Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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