I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
