If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
