There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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