i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
