Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
