my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Dear god my vagina.
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