You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
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