This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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