No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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